Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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