Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
