spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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