Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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