break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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