never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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