I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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