you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
