Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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