Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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