you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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