I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Randomize
