Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
