so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
