you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
