yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
