just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
