covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
