I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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