dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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