Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
