I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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