If i come over, it means nothing
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
