Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'm just crazy horny about you
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
