The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize
