uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
