I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
