i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
i think im in europe. pls send help
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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