I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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