Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
you made out with another girl for some wings
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize