I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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