She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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