If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
