Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize