How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
this boner is exhausting
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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