Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
