i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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