I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize