i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
