Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
