Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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