When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
