So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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