This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
