Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Holy shit dude........stairs
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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