I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
