Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
