This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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