can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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