so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
