so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
