She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
