Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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