So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Randomize
