the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
