The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
