I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
