He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize